Maturity vs Age – A Dialogue Between Guruji and Shishya

Anirudh:

Guruji, I have a confusion that’s been growing louder within me...

People say that age brings wisdom, but I’ve seen older people behave like children in ego battles, and younger ones hold great grace in silence. Today someone mocked my idea—an idea I believe in with my whole heart—and yet, I chose not to respond. I stayed, even helped them. Was that weakness, or is that what people call “maturity”?

Guruji (smiling):

Ah, Anirudh… the river doesn’t argue with the rock that stands in its way. It simply flows around it. You did not react—and that is not weakness, but inner strength, the fragrance of maturity.

But you are right to wonder—what really is maturity, and how is it different from age? Let’s walk through this gently, like walking through a temple garden.

The First Story: The Bitter Mango

Guruji:

Do you remember the old mango tree behind the granary?

Anirudh:

Yes, Guruji. Every summer it yields hundreds of fruits, sweet and golden.

Guruji:

Once, a boy climbed the tree too early in the season and plucked a mango. It was green and bitter. In frustration, he yelled, “This tree is useless!” and walked away.

Later, an old woman passed by, picked another mango, and smiled. “Not yet,” she said gently, “it will ripen soon.” She didn’t judge the tree, nor cut it down.

Maturity, dear child, is like that old woman—it understands the timing of life. The boy had age, the woman had maturity.

The Second Story: Karna’s Restraint

Guruji:

Let me take you back to Mahabharata—to Karna. Once, a man at a public sabha stood and insulted Karna’s lineage, mocking him as a charioteer’s son. Karna could’ve silenced him with a single shot from his bow. But he didn’t. He knew that not every barking dog needs a stone thrown at it.

When someone attacks your idea without understanding it, their words are like arrows fired in the dark. Responding with rage only means you’ve let their ignorance disturb your balance.

Anirudh (softly):

So, maturity is not proving others wrong?

Guruji (nods):

No. Maturity is not about silencing others; it is about mastering yourself.

It is not age that brings it. Age is how many candles you've blown. Maturity is how much darkness you've walked through with a lamp of awareness.

The Third Story: Buddha and the Abuser

Guruji:

There’s a famous tale from the life of Buddha.

A man once came to him and hurled abuses for hours. Buddha sat silently, unmoved. The man finally asked, “Why are you not angry?”

Buddha said, “If someone offers you a gift and you do not accept it, to whom does it belong?”

The man replied, “To the giver.”

“So,” Buddha said, “I do not accept your anger.”

You see, maturity is knowing that someone’s bitterness is their own burden. You don’t have to carry it.

The Lesson: Choosing to Stay

Anirudh:

But Guruji… I could’ve left that person. Why did I choose to stay? Did I let myself be disrespected?

Guruji (with a chuckle):

No, Anirudh. You chose to stay, not out of compulsion, but compassion. That’s the mark of true maturity.

You saw beyond the insult, into the pain or ignorance behind it. You didn’t stay for them—you stayed because your values kept you rooted, like a tree that doesn’t run from the storm.

Guruji (quoting gently):

“Samatvam yoga ucyate”

(Equanimity is called Yoga) – Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 48

To remain undisturbed in honour and dishonour, to see both praise and blame as passing clouds—that is the maturity Arjuna was taught by Krishna.

Anirudh (with folded hands):

I understand now, Guruji. Age is external; maturity is internal.

It is not how old you are, but how deep your roots have grown in patience, compassion, and clarity.

Guruji (smiling like the full moon):

Ah, you’ve ripened, my child. And remember, a mature fruit falls silently, feeding the earth beneath—never announcing its arrival.

Anirudh (pensively):

Guruji, your stories have opened my heart. But I have one more struggle... It is easy to stay calm before strangers. But how do I show maturity before my own parents—especially when they dismiss my ideas just because I’m younger?

Sometimes they mock or scold without fully listening. How do I convince them lovingly, without hurting them or being disrespectful?

Guruji (smiling gently):

Ahh… now you are truly ready for the deeper waters.

Listen carefully, Anirudh—maturity is not only about swallowing insults, but also about how lovingly you lift those who are slipping into the rigidity of age.

Aging often brings with it a fear of irrelevance. So they may cling tighter to control. Your job is not to fight them but to hold space for their dignity while guiding them to light.

Let me tell you a few truths.

1. Age Can Harden, Maturity Softens

Guruji:

Age sometimes fossilizes thought. Like clay left too long in the sun—it becomes brittle.

But maturity, like the Ganges, is ever-flowing—softening rocks over time.

So if your parents dismiss your ideas, don't react with fire. Be like water. Show them results, not rebellion.

2. Story of Shravan Kumar

Guruji:

Remember Shravan Kumar from the Ramayana?

He didn’t just serve his blind, aging parents. He carried them across the land—not just on his shoulders, but in his heart.

He didn’t argue whether they were right or wrong. He aligned his service with dharma.

But had his parents asked him to harm someone or do adharma—he would have lovingly refused.

You must speak your truth—but with shraddha (reverence), not with arrogance.

3. Technique: Sevak Bhav, Not Warrior Mode

Guruji:

If you wish to convince your parents:

First, listen completely. Let them empty their doubts.

Then, speak in their language, not yours—use examples they value, people they admire.

Never try to win an argument. Instead, win their trust.

Even Krishna convinced Yashoda not by preaching but by playing along, and then slowly revealing the truth.

4. Convince Through Evolution, Not Revolution

Anirudh (eagerly):

But Guruji, what if they’re doing something outdated or harmful—like ignoring health advice or believing in superstitions?

Guruji:

Then plant seeds, don’t throw stones.

Tell stories. Ask questions. Use humor. Let them reach the conclusion themselves. That’s how a gardener raises trees—not by shouting at the seed but by giving sunlight and patience.

Tell them, “Amma, Appa—times have changed, but your wisdom will shine even brighter if we evolve together.”

5. Gita’s Message on Duty with Maturity

Guruji (reciting slowly):

“Na buddhi-bhedaṁ janayet ajñānām karma-saṅginām”

(Don’t disturb the minds of the ignorant while guiding them; let them grow at their pace)

– Bhagavad Gita 3.26

You are not here to defeat them, but to help them transform—gently.

6. The Broken Clock

Guruji:

Let me tell you about an old man in our village. He insisted on setting his broken wall clock by the sun each day.

His son bought him a new clock. But the man refused to use it—“This one has seen your mother,” he said.

The son didn’t argue. He fixed the old clock silently and left it ticking.

That was maturity—not proving you're right, but honouring emotion even when logic disagrees.

Anirudh (with moist eyes):

Guruji… I understand now. I’ve been wanting to win with my parents. But maybe, true maturity is about choosing love over logic, and patience over proof.

Guruji (placing a hand on his head):

Yes, my child. You may be younger in years—but when you choose compassion over ego, you become their guide, without ever announcing it.

Remember—Maturity is not in shouting what you know, but in whispering what others are ready to hear.

Closing Verse (Kabir Doha)

Guruji:

"धीरे धीरे रे मना, धीरे सब कुछ होय।

माली सींचे सौ घड़ा, ऋतु आये फल होय॥"

Slowly, slowly, O mind—everything in its time.

The gardener may water a hundred pots, but fruit comes only in season.

So be the gardener of your parents’ evolution. Water them with your love. And wait.